So, what does Paul have against marriage? After reading 1 Corinthians 7, we might be inclined to ask that question!
There are a lot of speculated reasons that have been put forward as to why Paul feels that if a person marries he does well, and the person who refrains from marriage does even better. Some think that Paul was a misogynist – hence his comments in other places about women being silent and not being pastors. Some think that Paul’s wife left him after he converted to Christianity. I think the reason Paul himself gives is best: the present distress. Paul lived in a time when Christians faced persecutions, trials and struggles. He did not want people to be torn in the moment between their love and loyalty to God and the love and loyalty to their spouse. He did not want wives and children becoming widows and orphans when a father died for his faith. He did not want husbands and wives fearing for one another’s safety or being anxious about what might happen.
Paul does not have a problem with marriage. He understands that it is a good gift that God gives and that people need the mutual support and comfort husband and wife give to one another. Paul also understands that when two people come together in marriage sin and temptation are always part of that equation.
I find Paul’s words in verse four to be thought provoking: “For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” He is speaking in the context of sex and the resistance of sexual temptation – and yes he is saying that it is good for husband and wife to have sex with each other. (More than that, it’s important for husband and wife to have sex.) However, these comments mirror what Paul says in Ephesians 5 as well regarding wives submitting to their husbands and husbands loving their wives sacrificially. In marriage we are intended to wholly give ourselves to our spouse. The two are one and they constantly wrap their lives around one another.
Remember that God has called us to peace. In marriage that means loving, listening, respecting, forgiving, and so much more. Too often our focus is on ourselves as we deal with our spouses – or on our spouses’ flaws. Arguing, bickering, harping and haranguing do not change hearts. Love and forgiveness do, and speaking the truth in love also changes behaviors.
Marriage is complex sometimes. As one of my friends reminded me the other day, sometimes that complexity is there because we are out there chasing after the world. I want to encourage all of us who are married – and those who are not there is a kernel here for you, too – to get back to the basics.
Love each other. Husbands, that is your bride. Wives, that is your groom. Spend time with each other. Be polite to each other. Help one another. More important than all of that live in God’s grace together.
We are forgiven children of God. That brings salvation into all of our relationships. Jesus’ forgiveness is for all people – including husbands, wives, children, and families. Indeed, these are a important relationships where that forgiveness works in mighty ways.
There are a lot of speculated reasons that have been put forward as to why Paul feels that if a person marries he does well, and the person who refrains from marriage does even better. Some think that Paul was a misogynist – hence his comments in other places about women being silent and not being pastors. Some think that Paul’s wife left him after he converted to Christianity. I think the reason Paul himself gives is best: the present distress. Paul lived in a time when Christians faced persecutions, trials and struggles. He did not want people to be torn in the moment between their love and loyalty to God and the love and loyalty to their spouse. He did not want wives and children becoming widows and orphans when a father died for his faith. He did not want husbands and wives fearing for one another’s safety or being anxious about what might happen.
Paul does not have a problem with marriage. He understands that it is a good gift that God gives and that people need the mutual support and comfort husband and wife give to one another. Paul also understands that when two people come together in marriage sin and temptation are always part of that equation.
I find Paul’s words in verse four to be thought provoking: “For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” He is speaking in the context of sex and the resistance of sexual temptation – and yes he is saying that it is good for husband and wife to have sex with each other. (More than that, it’s important for husband and wife to have sex.) However, these comments mirror what Paul says in Ephesians 5 as well regarding wives submitting to their husbands and husbands loving their wives sacrificially. In marriage we are intended to wholly give ourselves to our spouse. The two are one and they constantly wrap their lives around one another.
Remember that God has called us to peace. In marriage that means loving, listening, respecting, forgiving, and so much more. Too often our focus is on ourselves as we deal with our spouses – or on our spouses’ flaws. Arguing, bickering, harping and haranguing do not change hearts. Love and forgiveness do, and speaking the truth in love also changes behaviors.
Marriage is complex sometimes. As one of my friends reminded me the other day, sometimes that complexity is there because we are out there chasing after the world. I want to encourage all of us who are married – and those who are not there is a kernel here for you, too – to get back to the basics.
Love each other. Husbands, that is your bride. Wives, that is your groom. Spend time with each other. Be polite to each other. Help one another. More important than all of that live in God’s grace together.
We are forgiven children of God. That brings salvation into all of our relationships. Jesus’ forgiveness is for all people – including husbands, wives, children, and families. Indeed, these are a important relationships where that forgiveness works in mighty ways.
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