Jealousy in the family is bad news. Laban’s sons eventually became jealous of Jacob and the success he had with the flocks. Despite the fact that Laban had changed his agreement with Jacob ten times, whatever Jacob did succeeded because God blessed him. As Laban and his family looked on, Jacob became richer and richer. Laban’s words betray his attitude toward what was going on. In v. 43 Laban says, “The daughters are my daughters, the children are my children, the flocks are my flocks, and all that you see is mine. But what can I do this day for these my daughters or for their children whom they have borne?” Despite the fact that Jacob had labored and paid a hefty dowry for his wives, Laban felt they were his. Despite the fact that Jacob had tended the flock and wages had been agreed on, Laban still felt they were his also. So he felt that Jacob was cheating him.
It’s interesting how often we can look at our own situation and feel that we are the ones who are hard done by. Laban’s lens of selfishness kept him from seeing that Jacob had worked to gain all he had by God’s blessing. He was more than comfortable with cheating Jacob and his own daughters, changing the deal over and over again, as long as it didn’t disturb his comfort or keep him from his daughters and grandchildren. Unfortunately we have some of that in us too.
It is important for us to be able to look at a situation from more than our own point of view, because sometimes when we fail to empathize with others we overlook where we have perhaps sinned against them. Selfishness can blind us.
On the other side of that coin, we do the right thing when we stand up for ourselves, too. Jacob was right to not allow himself to be cheated any longer. Perhaps if he had stood up to Laban earlier the departure from Padan Aram would not have been so stressful. Laban was right to seek Jacob out – not to harm him or reclaim what he wrongly perceived as his own, but to express his dissatisfaction with not being able to kiss his daughters and bless his grandchildren before they left.
I believe one of the lessons that we can take from this reading is the importance of dealing forthrightly with one another. Jesus put it this way, “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.” Paul urges us to speak the truth to one another and to speak that truth in love. It is the devil whose native language is lying and deception. As redeemed children of God we have been called beyond the desire to lie or deceive for our selfish gain. In the cross our sins are paid for and we are brought into the kingdom of God. Now we are urged to seek first God’s Kingdom and righteousness, and all these earthly things will be added to us as well.
God provides. Let there be no doubt in our mind about that! He provided for Jacob and his family. Even more than that, He provided redemption for everyone who believes in Jesus. That doesn’t mean that we won’t get cheated or that life won’t be hard sometimes. But it does mean that we can work hard and live with integrity trusting ourselves into God’s hands. We can know that we are valuable enough that we can speak up for ourselves, even as we recognize that all that we have is from the Lord.
Father in Heaven, thank you for all Your blessings. Help me to live with integrity, reflecting the transformation You have made in my life through faith in Jesus. In His name I pray. Amen.
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